4 August, Noriko Ōnuma

文字数 3,489文字

Letters to Heaven


On the fourth of every month, I look up at the sky and search for Miwa Narazaki’s response.
  I knew Miwa in elementary school. We weren’t particularly close, but we were in the same class from first to third grade. One day, in the middle of third grade, Miwa passed away. After explaining to the class that Miwa had been sick for a long time, the teacher suggested we write to her every month on the fourth, which was the day she’d died.
  

How

are

you?

Are

you

having

fun

over

there?

Kick

scooters

are

all

the

rage

here.

What

do

people

ride

in

heaven?

You know, things like that.
  The letters stopped when I started fifth grade and got a new teacher. But I continued to write to Miwa in my mind.
  

Hello,

Miwa.

How

is

life

there?

Have

you

made

any

friends?

I think I went on writing to Miwa because I was lonely; fifth grade was the year my closest friends suddenly decided to ignore me.

Are

there

mean

people

in

heaven,

too?

Do

they

make

you

feel

sad?

Are

there

bullies

there?

I

guess

thats

a

dumb

question.

Youre

in

heaven,

after

all.


  Then one day, I asked:

Hey,

Miwa.

Can

I

come

over

there,

too?


  I was tired of being alone, tired of being laughed at behind my back and having my belongings hidden. Life in heaven had to be better than what I was going through.

So,

can

I

join

you?

If

your

answer

is

yes,

let

the

fourth

of

this

month

be

sunny.

If

your

answer

is

no,

let

it

rain.


  It poured on the fourth. I gave up trying to go to heaven, and went on living. I’m twenty-seven now, going on twenty-eight. I’m married, and expecting my first child. Life is hectic, but I’m happy.
  Did Miwa have anything to do with the rain that day? Or was it just a coincidence? I’ll never know, but I keep in touch with her to this day.
  

How

have

you

been?

How

are

things

there?

Over

here,

things

arent

so

good.

Theres

a

new

virus

going

around,

and

life

is

different

from

the

way

it

used

to

be.

I

wonder

whats

going

to

happen

to

the

world.

Will

it

ever

go

back

to

normal?

Or

will

things

just

get

worse?

I always have so many questions for Miwa, especially when I’m feeling anxious.

If

things

are

only

going

to

get

worse,

is

it

even

worth

living?

What

do

you

think?

Are

you

glad

you

didnt

have

to

see

the

future?

Orwould

you

have

given

anything

to

see

it

for

yourself?


  Tomorrow is the fourth. I’ll look up at the sky, and wait for my friend to reply.


Translated by Asuka Minamoto/Arranged by TranNet KK

Noriko Ōnuma
Born in Gifu Prefecture, 1975. Won Grand Prize at the 9th Bocchan Literature Awards in 2005 for her debut work

Yukutoshi

kurutoshi

(The old year and the new year). She has also drawn acclaim for her Mayonaka no pan’ya-san (The midnight bakery) series, which has been adapted into a TV drama.

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